Mennyire hasznos "5 perc angol" magazin? Felsőfokra elég lehet? (tudásbázis kérdés)

De adhat kedvet a gyakorlasra, ami nem "szaraz", talan konnyebben az emlekezetunkbe tud felkozni az informacio. Ha a nyelvtanat es a szavak arnyalati kulonbseget eszrevesszuk, talan a nyelvtanaban rejlo es kibuvo szituacio komedia jelleget? -az mar nem messze van a "fokoktol",

Igazan sajnalom, ha neked ellenedre van.

Velemenyem szerint, konyvekbol a folepiteset, szabalyait, szavait be lehet magolni, amit az otthoni vizsgakon elvarnak, de azzal magat a nyelvet meg nem salyatitottuk el.

Dodi,ezekböl a hozzászólásaidból megtudta a fórumindító a választ a feltett kérdésre?

Ami egyébként engem is érdekelne. Szerintem hasznos, de felsöfokhoz kevés:/

The Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.

Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

Just for the retired folks.....

Phil came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Phil.'

Phil was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Phil was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Phil the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said phil.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard.....

"Phil ..., Philip ..., wake up! You just shit the bed!"

Getting OLD just ain't what they said it would be!

My job search

"This is quite clever. I wonder who thinks of all this stuff. "

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,

but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,

but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor,

but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,

but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,

but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician,

but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,

but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.

Tried hard but just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,

but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,

but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Centre,

but they said I wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work,

I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,

but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said:

"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.

"You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."

"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.

Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?

They're hushers."

A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied,

"Because people are sleeping."

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied,

"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you."

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary."

The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"

A little kid said, "Virgin."

Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"

The kid said, "Well, you know, they are always talking about Virgin' Mary.''

A little boy was overheard praying:

"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.

As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

"Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train".

"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".

"No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss".

"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life".

"Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,

"Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.

Thoughts of Mind:

I had amnesia once --- maybe twice.

********************

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

********************

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

********************

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

********************

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

********************

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

********************

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

********************

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up,

He'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

********************

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

********************

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

********************

My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.

********************

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

********************

How can there be self-help "groups"?

********************

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

********************

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

********************

Is it me— or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes.

One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off.

Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.

Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands.

Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.

It’s the smoke detector," they replied in unison.

"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.

"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner’s ready."

A leghasznosabb az lenne, ha pár hónapra ki tudnál ugrani angol nyelvterülere, de legalább egy angol anyanyelvű baráttal sokat beszélni élőben, mondjuk skypeon.

Én kizártnak tartom, hogy napi pár perces lecke elég hozzá.

Meg mondjuk az is igaz, hogy egy felsőfokú sem jelenti azt, hogy kint nem lenne gond eleinte, szóval attól is függ, hogy mire kell a vizsga.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. (?)

The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed), or some

variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore,

no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct........leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Az angliai egeszsegugyi rendszerben az alkalmazottaik tobbet nem hivhatjak a mamakat mamanak, hanem csak szemelynek, mert nem akarjak megserteni azokat akik at operaltattak magukat ferfibol nonek, de biologiailag nem lehetseges nekik, mert mehuk nincsen,(es azert szatyorban meg sem hordhatjak) hogy anyam lehessenek es ezzel rossz erzest okoznank nekik ha a anya szot hasznalnak.

Nem tudom arra fele van a Lipot mezo...

Igaz, azt hallottam, mar nallunk is bezartak...

Pedig meg szukseg lenne ra...

Meg lehetne valositani az "Angol beteg"-et...

En csalok...

Mert ha benne elsz, ha akarod, ha nem ram ragad, mint a kosz.

Most Edesanyam anyanyelvet, nemetul tanulok, mert Londonba szeretnek letelepedni...

New York-ban nem tetszik, nagyon sok a Porto Rico-i, azok meg kulfoldiul, espana nyelvet beszelik... Miami-ban meg megint csak Espana-t es Hibru-t beszelnek...

Talan jobb lenne Europa, de oda majd meg arabul kell tudni ...

Igy jarnak azok a szerencsetlen orszagok akiknek a nepszaporulata a 2.5 ala esik ! Mi magyarok 1.8 nal tartunk, meg par generacio, es ki fogunk halni!

Eljenek az abortuszok!

A magyar nemzet es nyelv csak emlek fog lenni..

Erosen arra fele haladunk, mert amikor a magyar unnepelyeken a magyar himnusz helyett az internacionalera all a szank, mert a kommunista rendszer belenk nevelte, a felvidekieket ukranoknak es totoknak, az erdelyi magyarokat romannak, a delieket racoknak hivjuk, pedig azok igazan magyarok, nem olyan bekepzeltek mint mi.

De mar ne ugraljuk, meg egy par emberolto es ugy is kifogunk halni... de addig is kell a hatalmasoknak akik a wc-juket fogjak takaritani...

-ha nem kapunk a fejunkhoz, azok fogunk mi lenni...

Hihihihi

Az olvasott szöveget ki tudom ókumulálni, ha egyszerűbb.

De nem tudok még mondatot összerakni.

After my recent prostate exam, which, I must say, was the most thorough I've ever had, the doctor left and the nurse came in.

As she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear.

She said.... "Who was that guy?"

egy közepes társalgási szintre.

a felsőfok közel anyanyelvi szint..